I AM AN ABUSED VAGINA!

I AM AN ABUSED VAGINA!

Greek Girl, bend over and touch your ankles because I am suing your ass for vaginal neglect and endangerment! Earlier this morning, I tumbled out of my Barbie highchair and busted my clit into the floor. I screamed for help for over an hour! An hour, bitch!

Okay, fine, I gurgled for help in between mouthfuls of vodka, but you still should have come running like the little house bitch you are! And you can quit laughing now, you neglectful skank! Nobody is laughing here, except for you! There is nothing funny about abused vaginas!

Anyway, the boring loser has the day off today, which means that the Angry Vagina is large and in charge! This is my fuckery parade now, and if I say, "March!" you better say, "April!" Hee, hee! God, this tequila is good!

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Comments:

Slutty Gay Friend
Slutty Gay Friend said:

yeah, bitch is already drunk! i knew it!

May 13 at 9:22am
AG's Hetero Male
AG's Hetero Male said:

I almost spit out my coffee! You go for it, Vagina! We're looking forward to your fuckery today!

May 13 at 9:24am
Rudolph's SCRAM bracelet
Rudolph's SCRAM bracelet said:

You did this to yourself, you drunken skank! Ahem *pinky in the air*

May 13 at 9:24am
I Came For The Vodka
I Came For The Vodka said:

"I am an abused vagina"

Oh dear lord, the comment that popped into my head at that.

May 13 at 9:24am
AG's Hetero Male
AG's Hetero Male said:

And I hope your clit feels better after your little tumble this morning. You seem fine, though.

May 13 at 9:25am
I Came For The Vodka
I Came For The Vodka said:

Vaginal neglect! This just gets better!

May 13 at 9:25am
AG's Hetero Male
AG's Hetero Male said:

Head Troll, I know! :)

May 13 at 9:26am
Slutty Gay Friend
Slutty Gay Friend said:

jen, you tell her! that was classy!

May 13 at 9:26am
I Came For The Vodka
I Came For The Vodka said:

Vaginal neglect....I swear, next time me and my BF have an argument, I will throw that in!

May 13 at 9:27am
I Came For The Vodka
I Came For The Vodka said:

Screaming for an hour seems to be a pattern for the AV.

May 13 at 9:27am
AG's Hetero Male
AG's Hetero Male said:

Head Troll, I would pay to see your boyfriend's reaction!

May 13 at 9:28am
I Came For The Vodka
I Came For The Vodka said:

AGHM, I'll bet! And, trust me, his response will be worth it.

May 13 at 9:29am
Red Moon Girl
Red Moon Girl said:

Ohhh, my stomach aches from laughing! Is anyone else cracking up over the image of a little vagina sitting in a high chair? I keep seeing her with a baby bonnet.

May 13 at 9:29am
AG's Hetero Male
AG's Hetero Male said:

You'll have to get it on film!

May 13 at 9:30am
I Came For The Vodka
I Came For The Vodka said:

And a bib. And a vodka bottle with a nipple on.

May 13 at 9:30am
AG's Hetero Male
AG's Hetero Male said:

RMG, yes! You have no idea how much I laugh over the fact that the AV sits in a highchair and gets taken out in a baby stroller.

May 13 at 9:31am
Red Moon Girl
Red Moon Girl said:

Exactly, Head Troll!

May 13 at 9:31am
I Came For The Vodka
I Came For The Vodka said:

Hell, the domestic arguments between AV and AG should be it's own show!

May 13 at 9:32am
Red Moon Girl
Red Moon Girl said:

AGHM, between you and the Head Troll I'm laughing again and I can't stop. I love it! The AV is so expensive!

May 13 at 9:32am
AG's Hetero Male
AG's Hetero Male said:

Oh my God, yes! The AG yelling at the AV for scrawling on the walls with lipstick!

May 13 at 9:33am
Red Moon Girl
Red Moon Girl said:

Head Troll, YES! Get that on TV as soon as possible!

May 13 at 9:33am
Greek Girl's Future Wife
Greek Girl's Future Wife said:

Vagina, you have your own highchair and your own stroller and your own baby crib! Nobody is abusing your ass!

May 13 at 9:34am
Greek Girl's Future Wife
Greek Girl's Future Wife said:

Head Troll, AGHM, and RMG, I am totally on board!

May 13 at 9:34am
Old Fogey
Old Fogey said:

Oh, AV! You always make me laugh!

May 13 at 9:35am
Old Fogey
Old Fogey said:

And Jen is correct! It was your own fault! You were probably drunk when you fell out of the highchair!

May 13 at 9:36am
Team Wig
Team Wig said:

I am with all of you. The AV is just the best! Love that she wears a baby bib and drinks vodka out of a baby bottle! Not to mention the Barbie Dream Bed she sleeps in!

May 13 at 9:37am
Rudolph's SCRAM bracelet
Rudolph's SCRAM bracelet said:

I love this idea! That would be so much better than just about anything on TV right now.

May 13 at 9:37am
Team Wig
Team Wig said:

Here. The Barbie Dream Bed. I used to have one as a kid. http://www.thestrong.org/online-collections/images/Z004/Z00414/Z0041437.jpg

May 13 at 9:38am
Greek Girl's Future Wife
Greek Girl's Future Wife said:

Jen, we should write a petition or something. I would so watch that show!

May 13 at 9:39am
Red Moon Girl
Red Moon Girl said:

Team Wig, I forgot about the Barbie Dream Bed!

May 13 at 9:39am
AG's Hetero Male
AG's Hetero Male said:

Team Wig, LMFAO! How big is that bed? Is it Barbie sized?

May 13 at 9:39am
Team Wig
Team Wig said:

Yeah! It's like 8 inches long! It's perfect for the AV, which is why the AG got her one, I guess. :)

May 13 at 9:40am
Baba Yaga's Brittle Bones
Baba Yaga's Brittle Bones said:

How soon can we get this show on the air?

May 13 at 9:43am
AG's Gay Male
AG's Gay Male said:

Oh, Vagina, don't ever change!

May 13 at 9:46am
AG's Hetero Male
AG's Hetero Male said:

BYBB, as soon as possible!

May 13 at 9:48am
Slutty Gay Friend
Slutty Gay Friend said:

jen, i know! this bitch gets demerits!

May 13 at 9:52am
drpamful
drpamful said:

Vagina. I am appalled. I had no idea. Slutty Gay friend said there was fuckery a foot in your home, but I did not the degree of your abuse and neglect. I am on the phone now with Sarah McLachlan
(I know, I don't like to name drop). She has agreed to film a public service annoucment like she does cats and dogs. Her people will be calling your people.

May 13 at 12:29pm
Old Fogey
Old Fogey said:

drpamful, I just spit out my coffee!

May 15 at 10:32am

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